Creating Summer Memories Storyteller Style

I have been having such an amazing summer thus far. It has been incredibly busy, with lots of travel and more shows in a week than I've ever done before, and yet there have been so many beautiful moments that have caused me to stop and say, "Wow! How lucky am I? Is it really possible that I'm earning a living at something that I love so much?"

How can I describe how great it is to see a parent pull out their camera with a huge smile on their face as they try to capture the special moment when their child is standing next to me, dressed as a parrot or ram or some other crazy character from one of my stories, and to know that I am helping to create a memory for this family? Something that they will smile or laugh about or share with others. . .

What words can I find to express how much it means to me, at the end of a long day of three shows, to have a parent come up to me and say that her and her daughter were at last year's show and that when they saw that I was returning to their library system, they made a point of finding a show they could attend before their summer trip to India? And not only that, but inviting the daughter's friend to come with them -- an outgoing friend who ended up playing an important part in the show when I had a very shy audience.

Speaking of shy audiences, in the last week, I had quite a few of those, more than usual. These are the audiences who are interested in the story but aren't much interested in getting involved and playing the parts. This is in contrast to the audiences I get where every hand is raised and I wish I had more parts to go around. The shy audiences can pose a challenge, especially when it's a small crowd and everyone is shy. That was the case at one of my shows on Saturday. But imagine my delight when the parents of one of the young children quickly jumped at my request for volunteers and dove into their characters with reckless abandon! The father even had to be called upon to play two different parts. In all of it, the look of delight on their daughter's face as she watched her parents pretend to be dogs, roosters and rams, was priceless.

I am a storyteller. A maker of memories. A bringer-together of families and peoples. A humorist. An improv artist. A bridge builder. A storyteller.

Lewis Carroll described stories as "love gifts." I could not agree more. Every time I tell a story I am grateful for the relationship it creates between me and the audience. Sometimes it's a relationship that lasts beyond those 30-45 minutes and extends to a year or two years from now when the same people come back to see me tell again. Or maybe it extends in other ways through a ripple effect that I know nothing about but that is very real all the same. I certainly hope so. Nonetheless, I am mindful of and thankful for the opportunities to meet wonderful people whom I would never have the chance to meet if it were not for my vocation as a storyteller.

It's funny because when I started World of Difference Ltd three years ago, I never intended to do it on my own. I enjoy working with people and feeding off the synergy that collaborative energies bring. And so that has been one of the biggest challenges for me in working solo. However, now, as the Lord has opened so many doors for me to perform, I realize that He has given me the desire of my heart by bringing wonderful people into my life at each place I go with World of Difference. Some of these people are now my biggest encouragers -- and their support has meant the world to me!

I can't even tell you how many times I wanted to give up when times got tough or things moved slower than I thought they should. How many times it seemed that something else, anything else, would be a better, wiser idea for a job. But somehow (with lots of support) I stuck it out, and that makes the many beautiful memories I'm creating this summer all the sweeter.

Time to Get Better

Can't believe it's been over a month since my last post. Admittedly, I say that way too much. I guess it's just the crazy rhythms of life, and no matter how much I attempt to become a more regular blogger, I can't seem to make it happen.

At any rate, I thought I'd share a few of my most recent realizations/revelations over the last month or so.

First of all, I got sick a little over a week ago. It happened just in time for the beginning of my jam-packed summer tour. And it just so happened that my first weeks were filled with lots of travel. I'm pretty sure many of the people behind me on the road thought I was a drunk driver, because let's just say, that blowing your nose while on the road does not make it all that easy to keep a straight course. I have blown through lots of boxes of tissue, and am still at it, but thankfully, have managed to have the strength and stamina needed for each of my shows.

But praise the Lord, I managed to get the worst part of the sickness, (the first few days when my head was throbbing and my body achy and exhausted) over with before I had to hit the road. It's funny though because when you are sick, you tend to evaluate things differently.

On any regular day where I have my health, I'm pretty absorbed by productivity. Is the kitchen clean? The laundry done? Have I responded to those emails? Made those phone calls? Did I get my run or other exercise in for the day? Have I made dinner? Drummed up some new business? Worked on a new show? Edited a few pages in my existing book or written a few lines for my new one? If the answer is no to more than a few of those questions, then, well, I would probably tend to consider it an unproductive day, and I'd probably be frustrated with myself.

But when I'm sick, I could care less about most of these things. All that matters is getting well. And if I have to lay in a bed sleeping and watching TV all day (something I NEVER do), then so be it! It has to be done so I can get better.

Somewhere while I was laying in that bed trying to recover, feeling free from so much of the guilt that would normally plague me at not having accomplished what I think I should have for the day, I think I learned a very spiritual lesson. It occurred to me that maybe that what God requires of me on a daily basis is not productivity so much as getting better -- daily trying to become better, not in a physical sense but a spiritual one. And the only way that can happen is through getting closer to God and becoming more like Him.

It's easy to do a lot of things and think I am being productive, but maybe I'm just fooling myself. Maybe I'm not getting anywhere nearer to my goal of being conformed to the likeness of Christ, maybe I'm just "doing stuff." Maybe I need to stop, and let the dishes sit in the sink and the emails get behind a day or two, so I can be in His presence and just allow my time with Him to make me better.

I have always seen my times of sickness as God's way of telling me to slow down. But once I've slowed down and recovered, it's easy to just pick up where I left off and speed up again. I've got a jam-packed summer, and yet somewhere in the middle of that, I'm trying to avoid that temptation to make productivity my goal. Life is certainly about more than my to-do list, but sometimes it takes something to slow you down to remind you of that.

Ohioana Book Festival 2011

I spent yesterday at the Ohioana Book Festival in Columbus, Ohio.
It was a day of celebrating Ohio's authors, and I was privileged to be a part of it. I shared a table with the lovely and talented Betsy Snyder. If you have little ones, you should definitely check out her work. Her illustrations are super cute and are sure to delight readers of all ages! You can find her work at www.betsysnyder.com

Over breakfast before the festival began, I met a publisher from the Dayton area who expressed interest in taking a look at the YA novel I am currently editing. She gave me her card and told me to send it her way and that we could even discuss it when I'm in Dayton later this month.





After a full day of book signings, readings and chatting with other authors and illustrators as well as festival goers, it was time to unwind at a closing reception held at the Governor's Residence and Heritage Garden. It was a very nice time with good food where I enjoyed my hors d'houevers alongside two women who wrote about bicycling across the country, a man (and his Latvian wife) who writes about the history of theatre in Cleveland, and a woman who does radio programs for those who are unable to read. I met many fascinating people, got more inspiration/tips/ideas than I could handle, and hope to attend next year if my next book comes out in time for the deadline.

The reception concluded with a tour of the governor's residence.

Contentment Where Least Expected

I asked a friend at church recently how he was enjoying his new job. I expected him to give me the typical response that it was going well, paying the bills, etc. But the way his face lit up as he told me how much he loved his work and how much pleasure and purpose it gave him interacting with his co-workers and the customers he served caught me a little off-guard.

I'm telling you, his job is not the kind that most people would jump up and down about. In fact, when my friend shows up to work each day beaming from ear to ear, his co-workers ask him, "What are you so happy about?" His reply: "I love this job!" Their reply: "Are you serious?"

It was refreshing to hear him respond so positively about a job where I doubt he's making much more than minimum wage. And yet, he believes in the organization he's working for and believes in the impact he can have on peoples' lives through carrying out his tasks with a positive attitude. And this makes all the difference.

He told me that he'd had a similar job years ago -- one that hadn't allowed him to save much, but that had provided for all his needs and had made him happy. But all that happiness changed when his girlfriend came to his house one day and happened to get a glimpse of his paycheck. "Is this all you make?" she asked. "I know a job where you can make a lot more than this."

Suddenly, the job he loved no longer appealed to him. And he went off to work for another employer, where he began making lots more money. Unfortunately, when he had that extra money, he didn't spend it in the wisest of ways and it led to one of the darkest periods in his life.

My friend reflected on how happy he is now because he knows that he is right where God wants him. His position might not be one that the world bestows importance upon, but he is making a difference right where he's at with his positive attitude and his love for people over power and wealth.

His words served as a reminder to me. A reminder that moving up in the world is not always moving up. What seems like a promotion may not really be one -- it depends on what's important to you.

What are we willing to sacrifice to move up in the world? Are we willing to sacrifice time for our families, time for our friends, time for God? Are we willing to sacrifice ourselves?

It was funny because only a few days before I spoke with my friend, I had read this verse from 1 Timothy 6:6 -- "True religion with contentment is great wealth."

True religion is putting God and others above self, people above profits, self-sacrifice over self-serving. There is great contentment in that (though the world would have us think otherwise!), and on top of that if all of our physical needs are being met, that is all the wealth any of us should need. Thanks my friend for the reminder!

Blind Date Art Exhibit: You're Invited!

This month I am excited to announce that I will be part of a unique exhibit called BLIND DATE at the Anderson Creative in downtown Canton, Ohio. Here is a little bit about the exhibit:

"This month, Anderson Creative is proud to resurrect the inaugural exhibit which put us on the map in 2010 - BLIND DATE: The Romance of Word and Image. In this novel interplay between the written word and visual image, 15 writers and 15 artists from around the country have been selected to collaborate with one another. Each writer received a piece of art from an artist whose identity remained secret to them. Each artist received a piece of writing from a writer whose identity was also kept hidden. Their job was then to respond with a new piece or art or writing. The result? 30 paired written and visual works that will hang alongside one another throughout May as part of our exhibit, BLIND DATE. And what's even more fun? The collaborators will not meet one another until opening night, when everything is up on the wall!"

Two of my written pieces are part of this exhibit, and I am very eager to see how the artist (whom I've never met or spoken to and whose identity is unknown to me) will interpret my work! The exhibit opens this Friday, May 6th at 6:00pm and runs until the end of the month. I will be at the Anderson Creative this Friday for the opening which coincides with Canton's First Friday (a time of great food, fun, and art for the whole family in the downtown area) and would love to see you there.

SAY IT!

We've all heard it said, "If you don't have anything nice to say, then don't say anything at all." But I think the opposite is equally important and bears saying as well. "If you have something nice to say, SAY IT!"

I started reflecting on this last night on my drive home from one of my performances at the Bay Village Library. The reason for that was this -- at the conclusion of the performance, a mother who had been sitting in the front row with her son, who I'm guessing was about five years old, approached me. She told me that she wanted to share something that her son had said when the story ended. Apparently, he turned to his mom and said, "Mom, you know what I wish? I wish that the story didn't have to be over." She then proceeded to tell me that her son had always been shy and that his participation in today's story was the first time that he'd gotten up to do something in front of people. He'd really enjoyed it, and so she was thinking about seeing what theatre classes might be available for him at the local theater.

All of this really meant a lot to me. To know that a child is so engaged in the story that he doesn't want it to be over -- what better compliment could I receive? And yet, I thought that it would have been so easy for this mother to just walk out the door after the performance without ever sharing that with me. She didn't have to take the time to seek me out and to share her son's words, but in doing so, she blessed me immeasurably and gave me so much encouragement. I wonder if even she knows how much those words meant and how it is just these sorts of moments and experiences that keep me going on the days that work gets tough.

And so I started thinking, how often do we think something nice about someone and then just fail to share it with them? Oftentimes, we are quite vocal with the things that annoy or irritate us. We are quick to point out when someone does something wrong. But what about the good things? Do we share those too or do we just keep them to ourselves?

I've heard a lot of people say, "Well, they know how I feel about them." These people use this as an excuse for keeping quiet. But do they really know how you feel? And even if they do, does it matter? What would it hurt to say it again? And who knows what encouragement that might bring to their day, their work, their life?!

I'm grateful that many people have taken the time to encourage me. I want to do the same for others, and I hope you do too! So, if you have something nice to say, you know what to do, SAY IT!

If I Still Lived in Spain. . .

Lest any of you think that I all I do is sit around comparing my life here in the states to my life in Spain, let me explain. It's not like that at all. It's more like this. . . I'll be driving along and all of a sudden, something will hit me -- some way that my life would be very different if I lived in Spain.

For example, last week as I was driving along I passed the Strip here in Canton, and I thought it would be nice to stop at Panera and pick up my husband's favorite pastry. But the traffic was wild and I'd already passed the entrance, so I missed my chance. But if I lived in Spain, I would pretty much have to walk by a bakery at every corner and it would be so easy to pass by and pick up one for him every day -- along with a fresh baked loaf of bread for only 40 cents.

The same is true when I'm at home and realize I need one little ingredient for something I'm cooking. In Spain, when you realize that you need to pick up some milk or fruit, you don't have to get into your car and drive off to the grocery store. No, instead, every neighborhood has their own grocery and fresh market within walking distance. How convenient that was -- especially for someone who has now sworn off of processed foods as much as possible. These are some of the simple things I miss. Now here's a list of a few others.

If I still lived in Spain. . .

- I wouldn't need a car. I'd take the metro or the bus everywhere, and because of that, I'd have a chance to read a lot more books during my long commutes. (And I'd only pay about $40 for an unlimited monthly pass -- about the same price for one tank of gas here!)

- My husband wouldn't have to work on weekends and he'd have more than a mere week of paid vacation. This is probably one of the hardest ones of all for me. In Spain, workers of all types have a month or more of paid vacation, along with plenty of other holiday days throughout the year.

-- Estith and I would most likely be on vacation right now. This is of course, Semana Santa, or Holy Week; however, that doesn't seem to mean much here in the US. Estith has to work Good Friday and Saturday of this week. I suppose I should be thankful that he has Easter Sunday off, and I am. But come on, is it too much to ask for even a few days during the most important Christian holiday of the year? I guess so.

But before you think I hate my life here, I better switch gears for a moment.

If I lived in Spain, there are some things I couldn't do. For example, I wouldn't be able to see my family very often (and I'm very happy to have them close by.) I also probably wouldn't have been able to start World of Difference, or else, it probably would have taken a lot longer to build it being in another culture. Also, I love all of the greenery -- the trees and grass that are everywhere here in Ohio -- you certainly don't see that much in Madrid (although maybe in other parts of Spain I could find that).

So it's not that I begrudge everything about my life here. . . but I'm telling you, when it's a Saturday or a Sunday and my husband is working an 18 hour day, it's not hard for me to remember the numerous weekends we spent in Spain, visiting different cities because it was just that easy to hop on the train and get lost in places filled with history and fascinating architecture. It was easy because Spanish culture values time in a different way than we do.

When I think about that, it makes me think about all of the time we Americans spend working, and at what cost. Sometimes it makes me want to do something rash . . . like really live in Spain again.

The Dancing Pig: A story from Kenya

I feel compelled to share a story told to me by my new Kenyan friend, Marion, whom I met at the Writer's Conference I've been attending in NY. Whenever I meet people from other countries and cultures, the storyteller in me can't help but ask if they don't have some little folktale or anecdote they can share with me. Below is a version of the Kenyan story she told me.


* * *

THE DANCING PIG

At one time the animals in Africa decided they would hold a party. Of course, what party would be complete without a feast? And what would be better to feast upon than a roast pig? So all of the animals set out to find one. However, no matter where they looked they couldn't find even one little porker. It appeared that the animals would have to do without roast pig for their main course. Instead, they set about making preparations for the music and dancing, an essential part of any African party.

Well, when Pig got word that a party was being held, he could hardly contain his excitement. He loved music! He loved dancing! He didn't want to miss all of the fun. So on the day of the party, Pig went to visit a squirrel who lived in his village and said, "I want to go to the party, but I don't want to be eaten! Maybe you can help me."

"Sure," said Squirrel. "I'd be happy to help. I'll sneak you into the party and find a place for you to hide."

"Great!" said Pig. "I'll see you tonight!"

That evening, true to his word, Squirrel took Pig to the party and found him a hiding place. From his safe spot, Pig could smell the rice and ugali cooking. Yum! But he didn't come out to have a plate -- it was too dangerous. And contrary to popular belief, he wasn't such a pig that he couldn't hold his appetite.

Then the music started. The beat of the drum moved the dancers to the floor where their legs leaped, their arms swung and their bodies swayed with the rhythm. Pig watched the spectacle in delight from the safety of his hiding spot. But suddenly, Pig began to feel the beat at the tip of his corkscrew tail. He tried to hold it in, but soon his tail started to wiggle. That wiggle worked itself from the tip of his tail all the way to his backside, which started to shake. Suddenly, he could hold it back no longer. Forgetting the danger, he jumped from his hiding spot and began to dance for all he was worth! He was having such a wonderful time that he didn't notice that the other animals had stopped dancing. He didn't notice until they came and pounced on him, sinking their claws into soft pink flesh. They threw poor Pig into their soup pot and served him for dinner -- all because he couldn't keep the rhythm out of his tail.
* * *

I will refrain from giving my interpretation of the story. I'm far more interested in hearing yours. Please comment and share your thoughts!

A Day in the Life of a Storyteller

I love my job. There's not much more to say than that. So what is a typical day in the life of a storyteller like you may ask? Well, there are no "typical" days, but let me give you a glimpse into one day - today.

Magical Moments
I began my day bright and early as a guest at Bethany United Church of Christ. I was there to perform my show, "Lily and the City of Light," for their combined Sunday school classes -- meaning everyone from children up to older adults. In my interactive telling, many children came up to take on the characters in the story, but what happened towards the end was truly amazing. The last character in the show is the King. I turned to the crowd and said, "Hmm. . I wonder where the King is?" A hand shot up in the second row and before I knew it a man was on his way up making his way towards the designated "throne." This man happened to have Down Syndrome. He sat down in the chair, assumed the King's robe and crown and sat up as tall and stately as he could. It was evident to all that something magical was about to happen. There is a point in the story where Lily is offered the gift of a beautiful new heart to replace her dirty, beat-up heart. Before accepting it, she asks the King -- "But whose heart is it?" The typical response which I give the King to say is: "This is my heart, but I want you to have it." However, before I could even get the first words out of my mouth, this man held out the heart to the girl and said, "This is the heart of Jesus Christ." I don't know if words can do the moment justice. In fact, I'm certain they can't. It was beautiful and remarkable and profound in ways that defy explanation -- in ways that only a heart can understand.

Yes, This Storyteller Makes House Calls
After the morning at the church, my next stop was a Cafe in Berea where I was to be performing at the birthday party of a 7 year old girl. She had seen my show, "The Monkey and the Crocodile" at a library last year and had greatly enjoyed it which had led to her mother setting up this party performance. The theme of the party had actually been designed around the theme of the show I would be performing. I know because I received an invitation and saw how closely they were tied together. When I arrived at the party, I walked in and began to scan the room for the mother and the birthday girl. Imagine my surprise when the mother spotted me, introduced herself and then informed me that her daughter was not at the party. She'd fallen sick with strep throat a few days prior. She'd been on antibiotics and the doctors had said that she wouldn't be contagious and would be able to attend her party, but she'd woken up that day and just hadn't felt up to it. Her parents hadn't wanted to cancel the party on such short notice, so there was the mom, hosting a lovely party complete with food, balloons, party favors and entertainment, for everyone else's children while her daughter remained at home with her husband. I felt so bad for them. Then her mother told me: "She isn't upset about missing the party or her friends or any of the rest of it. She was just upset about missing the story. So I was wondering if after you perform here at the party if you might be willing to go to our home down the road and just tell the story to her." How could I resist? My heart went out to the girl and her family. Of course, I said yes. So once I'd finished telling the story "Dog Tails" to a crowd of eager party-goers who each had their own dog tails provided by the mom via Oriental Trading Company, I headed on over to the house where the young girl and her father were waiting for me. When I walked through the front door, I found the girl sitting on the couch in a jumper. Her father informed me that she had changed out of her pajamas just for the occasion. And so I told them the story -- with her and her father playing each of the parts. To see the smile on her face and the flair with which she said each of the lines was priceless. To watch her giggle as her dad portrayed the wolf in the story and tried out different voices for his character was nothing short of delightful. To be able to facilitate an experience like that where a father and daughter could enter into the world of imagination together, well, let's just say that to be part of something like that is truly priceless. Again, it positively defies words.


It's days like these and experiences like these that remind me that there is nothing else I'd rather be doing. As a storyteller, I am privileged to meet so many different people. And these people open up not only their hearts, but also their homes, to me. In many cases I start out almost a complete stranger. But through the power of story and the interactive nature of my work, I never leave that way.

My job does not offer me a robust benefits package. There is no 401k or insurance plan, no vacation time or paid holidays. Really, there is not even a steady paycheck -- I work if and when the work comes, and some seasons are fuller than others. But for all my job may be lacking, I cannot imagine myself doing anything else -- for it is filled with experiences so magical on which I could never put a price tag. To be both a witness and a facilitator of these moments is a tremendous gift for which I am extremely grateful.

Boundaries and Rules

A few weeks ago we had a terrible ice storm here in Northeast Ohio. The ice storm caused the power in our house to go out for over 24 hours. So rather than stay in our home where the temperature was steadily dropping, we decided to seek shelter at my parent's house.

Now an interesting thing happened while we were there. You see, our 5 and a half month old dog, Blitzen, is still in the process of house-training. Estith and I often laugh because when he has to go outside, he makes it very clear to us. He barks. He growls. He howls. He stares. He will even try to nibble at your leg if you don't take his other signals seriously. This happens just about every time he has to go out without fail. However, while we were at my parent's house, I discovered that Blitzen had had a few accidents. These accidents occurred without any previous warnings. There had been no barks, no growls, no bites to warn me that he had to go, and I began to wonder about the cause of his relapse.

Then it occurred to me. In our house, we have gates up all around the house and doors that we can close in order to limit Blitzen to one small area of the house -- primarily, the kitchen and living room. In my parents' house, on the other hand, everything is very open. Blitzen had free range of the house without any gates or doors to confine him. He could easily get out from under my watchful eye, do his business and return without me even knowing it.

His behavior made me reflect on the importance of boundaries. Anyone knows that it's a bad idea to bring home a brand new puppy and give him free range of your house, unless you want your carpet to have a permanently foul odor. We also know that it's a bad idea to hand a 16 year old a set of car keys and tell them they can come home whenever they feel like it. I'm sure that in both of these cases, the puppy and the 16 year old would like to have such complete freedom. However, there is an equally good chance that they would not know how to deal with it well, and eventually would have to pay some consequences which might not be too pleasant in the long run.

Make no mistake, I fence Blitzen in because it's convenient for me. I don't want the hassle of having to clean up all of his messes, and I certainly don't want to deal with any foul odors. But I'm fairly certain that Blitzen is not going to enjoy being in a room covered in his messes for very long either. So the boundaries protect him too.

A lot of people are quite skeptical of rules. And I'll be the first to admit -- if rules are bad, I'm not saying they shouldn't be challenged. However, rules, in general, are meant to protect us -- sometimes from other people, but every bit as often from ourselves. I think about the 10 Commandments. Here's a list of rules that a lot of people don't want to follow because they feel it limits their personal freedom somehow. And certainly it does. However, these rules, when followed, are not burdensome. Rather they are boundaries that keep us from making a mess of our lives and the lives of others. They protect us.

As Blitzen demonstrates his trustworthiness over the course of the next months, I will be able to take down some of the gates and barriers that prevent him from having full range of the house. It's not that I'll be changing the rules. The difference is that he will understand the rules without needing to be told, without needing that visual reminder. The Bible speaks of a day when God's law will be written on our hearts and minds instead of on stone tablets. When we grasp this and allow the rules to become part of our very DNA, we have more freedom than we ever imagined. Not freedom to break rules, but freedom to live by the rules that give life.

The Full Armor

People say that getting a new puppy in the winter is a pain. And when they do I imagine they are referring to all of the times that you have to take the new puppy outside in the cold weather. But I didn't have the option of getting my dog in the summer because summer is way too busy for me, so winter had to do. At any rate, these people are right. Taking the dog out into the cold hour after hour is a pain, but I don't mind the cold so much. What I mind is the fact that I have to put on my boots, gloves, jacket, and hat to go out; then come back in and take it all off, only to repeat the cycle numerous times throughout the day. It definitely cuts into my productivity and takes up a lot of time.

Many of you will be familiar with the Bible's exhortations to put on the full armor of God. As I struggled in and out of my winter clothes today, I couldn't help but think of this passage which comes from Ephesians 6:11-18 and says:

¹¹ Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes.
¹² For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. ¹³ Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. ¹⁴ Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, ¹⁵ and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. ¹⁶ In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one.

This is quite a list, and this full armor wouldn't be a pinch to get on and off. I can't help but feel like what I have to do to get ready to go out into the cold is a lot like getting fitted with this armor. Putting all my winter "armor" on takes time, and then it's a hassle to take it off -- especially if I'm doing it only 5 minutes later. But unlike my winter armor, God's armor is not meant to be put on and taken off all day. We're meant to put it on and leave it on. If we don't, we're going to waste precious time and be less productive for the Kingdom.

And yet many of us live like this armor of God is something we can put on when we feel like it and take off when it's inconvenient or makes us stand out in a crowd. We've got to get over that mentality and appreciate the fact that we are meant to live in it 24/7. First, we've got to take the time to get into it. Then, we've got to live with the courage, conviction and abiding faith that allows us stay in it.

Frozen on the Outside

It's been cold. And snowy; and wet; and icy. All of the conditions that make me not particularly excited about going outside. My dog, Blitzen, on the other hand, thinks this is the perfect weather for playing. (Yes, I'm sure his name doesn't help the fact. I'm starting to think I should have named him Sunshine or some other summery-sounding name.) Blitzen doesn't seem to mind that our backyard is like a giant sheet of ice that sends him slipping, sliding and sprawling. He doesn't care that I have to make an effort just to keep my balance; at times, forcefully pushing into the snow/ice mixture to try to get some sort of grounding for myself. Blitzen is fascinated by all of the changes that have taken place outside and loves exploring them.

Blitzen particularly loves the tall evergreen tree that sits at the border between our property and that of our neighbor's. He loves to run underneath it and then wildly run back out. But a few days ago when the storm first began, he was quick to notice that the tree was different. It's branches were frozen and rigid instead of soft and pliable. In order to prevent myself from falling due to Blitzen's constant tugging at the leash, I too had to get close to the tree, and as I looked closer, I discovered something interesting. While the outer parts of the branches were frozen solid, the branches closest to the trunk retained their life and vitality.

I couldn't help but draw a parallel to our lives with God as I observed this tree. When we are exposed to the world and the fierceness of the storm going on it and all around us, it is so easy for us to become frozen and cold, and in a lot of ways, dead. This is why we need to stay connected to Jesus -- for the parts of us that stay closest to God stay alive and vital despite the storm. As I reflected on this, I was reminded of Jesus' words in John 15:5 which say: "I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing."

Jesus is the vine -- or in this case, the trunk of the tree. Oftentimes, we are busy spreading our branches and spreading our influence on our own. We want to see how far we can get -- we keep stretching and stretching and forget that the most vital part of us is not how far outward we can grow, but how deeply we can take root. Winter is a good reminder of this.

Time: It's NOT on My Side

Hello everyone. After over a week hiatus, I am back to the blog. Believe me, it was not for lack of things to share with all of you. I never seem to be lacking for that. Instead, and as is it is most of the time, it was for lack of time. Over the past few months I have learned and/or concretized the following lessons:

• There will never be enough time.
  
• Things will not spontaneously slow down.
• The phrase to "make time" is very accurate.

Let me explain. . . I had a very busy summer. Summer tends to be my busiest time of year with work because that is when the libraries are in full swing with their summer reading programs. Last summer I did 55 shows in the span of two months. I remember thinking during this extremely busy time, "Once the summer is over, things will slow down. Then I'll have more time." Right? Wrong!! Once the busy summer of shows was over, it seems that my calendar filled up with a million other things. These things kept me busy and pretty much without a break straight through to Christmas. Around Christmas, I finally slowed down a bit. But I don't think it was because I ran out of things to do. It was because I decided that I had to make the time to stop.

Now after my short reprieve, January is in full swing, and as I look at my calendar, I can see that things are not going to slow down for a long time -- in fact, I've already got lots of different deadlines to meet all the way through August of 2011. And I know that soon that will stretch itself into September, then October, then -- well, you get the idea.

I used to believe that I had busy seasons and not so busy seasons with work, but now it occurs to me that in our modern world, all of life is a busy season. We have to be very intentional about stopping. We can't wait for things to slow down because in most cases, they won't. We have to carve out time for rest, for putting family and friends first, for stopping to smell the roses, etc. We have to make time for what's important or else time (or our lack thereof) will make us into busy, self-centered, preoccupied people that we would never want to be.

The Search for Happiness

I recently read an interesting book called, "Hector and the Search for Happiness." If you have the time, it's a quick read and offers some interesting insights on what makes people happy. It's about a psychiatrist who travels the world trying to figure out what makes people happy. He begins his search because he wonders why some people who have everything you would think they'd need to make them happy are miserable, while those who have next to nothing are quite happy.

Over the course of his journey, he comes up with a list of lessons about happiness. They are each good things to consider when we evaluate our own happiness or lack thereof. Below are a few of his lessons which I've found to be thought-provoking.

• Making comparisons can spoil your happiness.

How many times are we unhappy not because our lives are 'missing' anything but rather because we are all too aware that someone else has it much better than we do. A better job, more education, nicer house, more recognition/status, etc. If we didn't have the comparisons to make, we would stand a better chance of being happy.

• Many people see happiness only in their future.

We miss out on lots of moments of happiness here in the present because we are too busy looking for it in the future. We say things like, "Once I've paid off my house. . ." or "Once I make more money. . ." THEN I'll be able to enjoy my family, pursue this dream, etc. The list goes on and on. If we can't be happy in this moment, what makes us think that we'll be happy in the future?

• Many people think that happiness means having more money or power.

I think most people already recognize this as an assumption about happiness. Even if we don't necessarily believe it, how often do we live as if it were true? Once again, we often delay certain things we could do in the here and now that would give us happiness and quite possibly bring happiness to others as well because we are too concerned with having MORE.

• Sometimes happiness is not knowing the whole story.

There are a lot of examples of where this can be true, but here's one from my own life. Before I'd traveled overseas and seen the extreme poverty that many people live with each day, it was easier to enjoy luxuries of any kind. However, knowing what I now know, some of the things that once made me happy make me pause and say, "Can I really enjoy this in good conscience?"

• It's a mistake to think that happiness is the goal.

This is perhaps the most interesting one to me and perhaps the hardest one to get my mind around. We often live as though happiness is the goal, and so much of our modern culture propounds this way of life. And yet, if we work to make ourselves happy, can we really do it? Or does happiness come from something else? Are we more likely to become happy by working to make ourselves happy or by considering the happiness of others above our own?

We all want to be happy. I don't know anyone who would rather be miserable than happy! But perhaps we have to let go of some of our long-held, cultural assumptions to truly experience it or else to recognize that we already are happy.

2010: The Year in Review

2010 has come to an end, but what a great year it was. It's almost hard for me to let go of it! As I look back over the year, I feel overwhelmingly grateful, especially when I compare how I was feeling at the end of 2009 with how I feel at the end of 2010. 2009 was a difficult year filled with lots of uncertainty and questioning on my part. At the very end of November, Estith and I had moved out of the apartment where we had lived for three years (ever since getting married) and moved in with my parents while we began searching for a home to buy. I wondered if we were doing the right thing in buying a home. At the same time, I was working hard at both my company and my writing and a lot of times it simply felt like I wasn't getting anywhere. I wondered if I was spinning my wheels, if it wouldn't be easier or more productive to give up and do something else. I struggled on a daily basis with all of these questions and more -- and I didn't feel much peace.

Then at the very end of December, Estith and I had the opportunity to attend Urbana, a missions conference held every three years in Missouri. This was an incredible experience afforded to us by our church, and I think it got the year off to a great start. We rang in New Years Eve through awesome praise and worship in an electric environment filled with the hope and promise of all that God is doing in the world. It's not to say that after that everything was just a cup of tea throughout the year, but somehow this year God took all of my doubts and fears, my sadness and frustration, and replaced them with joy and peace. This is the attitude I bring into 2011, and I am so grateful for it. Of course, I feel that the happiness and success that I've experienced this year would not have been possible without the difficult days of the year before. And so that leads to some more of the lessons I learned this year.

Lesson 4: The dry seasons of life have their purpose, even though as we go through them we may not be able to understand it or fathom what it could be. If nothing else, the dry seasons teach us to appreciate the seasons of abundance that much more.

Lesson 5: True happiness/joy is not circumstantial. I must learn to be content whatever the season knowing that God is working out His purposes in me. (As I look back, I had so little to complain about or feel frustrated about when I was feeling unhappy, but in that time, it was the only way I could feel about my situation. I have vowed that if another dry season comes and with it the unhappy feelings, I will not succumb to it, but rather remember the lessons I have learned and remind myself that each season has its reason. Easier said than done, but I hope that I can stick to it!)


At any rate, here is my year in review:

January:

• Began rehearsals for the film "Flight to India," the first film project undertaken by World of Difference, Ltd. which I wrote and starred in.

February:

• Shot the film "Flight to India"
• Closed on and moved into our first home! (The feelings of uncertainty give way to deep gratitude and peace that we are in the right place! Thank You, Lord!)
  
• Began working with the After-school Program at Stan Hywet which has been an incredible blessing to me both personally and professionally

March:

• Stayed busy as I started performing "The Monkey and the Crocodile" at all 27 branches of the Cuyahoga County Public Library from March thru May. Too many wonderful stories of great experiences to share!
• Wrote the sequel to my children's book, Lily and the City of Light. This story, entitled "Lily and the Return to Htrae," came to me in the same way the first story did, completely out of the blue while praying one day. Had never even considered writing a sequel for Lily, so I knew it must be the Lord at work. Hoping the publisher will pick it up so I can share with others as I now find Lily's story incomplete without it!
  

April:

• Celebrated my 30th birthday -- no qualms about turning 30 at all. Felt great!
• Participated and performed in Youth Councils for the Salvation Army and had the experience of seeing my group of drama students do an awesome job on a challenging sketch. God opened many doors for me to share my sketch-writing and showed me how it could be a blessing to others.
  

May:

• Won a trip to Haiti after entering a writing contest that I saw advertised at Urbana. Traveled there with an amazing team of people from all over the country and Canada. Saw firsthand the strength and courage of a people who have not let adversity stand in the way of their faith and made life-long friends in the process.

June, July, August:

• Began my summer tour with World of Difference, Ltd. visiting venues in Ohio, New York, and Michigan and performing over 50 shows in a 60 day period. Shared the folktale "Papa Dieux's Well: A folktale from Haiti" with numerous audiences raising awareness about the lack of access to clean water that many people face daily.
• Taught acting at the TAM Conservatory in New York again forging incredible relationships and a deeper love of my craft!

September:

• My husband Estith becomes a citizen of the United States!
• I finish editing my 300 page novel -- a feat that felt akin to running a marathon. (I'm hoping to begin looking for a publisher for this novel which is about a children's home in Paraguay in 2011.)
  

October:

• Perform my show "Godmother Death" for diverse audiences, including high school students
  
• Write my first grant (which I would later receive!)
  

November:

• Premier of the film "Turning Point" in which I play the role of Carla
• My first children's book "Lily and the City of Light" is officially released. This puts me in touch with many wonderful people whom I haven't heard from in a long time.
• Estith and I celebrate 4 years of marriage. I'm still totally in love with this man who has made much of the above highlights of my year possible through his love and support!
  

December:

• My second children's book, "'Twas the Year Christ Left Christmas" is released
• Perform "Babushka: A Russian Christmas Tale" at a number of wonderful venues
• Get my dog Blitzen for Christmas

And as if this weren't enough, many wonderful people came into my life this year in quite random ways -- from a couple we met at Estith's citizenship ceremony, to a program evaluator (and her husband) trying to pick up some forms at my Stan Hywet show, to a woman I met while attending a grant-writing workshop. The randomness of it gives me no doubt that God hears and answers prayers!

There are probably many other things I could mention, but the list is already quite long, so I'll leave it at as it is.

I now look forward to 2011 and all that it holds in store, and I hope you do too! I also hope that you would be encouraged knowing that whatever season you are in right now there is a purpose for it. Just wait and see!

Goodbye Christmas! Hello 2011!

I feel a twinge of sadness as the Christmas season comes to an end. There's something special about this season and the spirit that comes with it. I hate to think about having to take down the tree, the decorations and the lights, but it's more than that. I find that at Christmas I really begin to reflect on the person that I am and how far I am from the person that I'd like to be. I earnestly begin to ask myself the question: "What can I do to be more of the person that I want to be?"

And the answer rarely has anything to do with career success or success as the world would define it. How could it when the Christmas story is about a great God leaving his greatness to be born as a baby, live as a humble servant, and die as a despised criminal? Where is the success in that? There's no upward mobility in this story -- it's all downward mobility.

The Christmas season makes me pause and recognize that for much of the year I define myself by my career successes or how much I'm able to accomplish on a day to day basis, in other words, my upward mobility. But at Christmas I remove all of these outside trappings and evaluate myself based on more important things like generosity, charity, love for others, selflessness, etc. I put aside my successes and accomplishments, and I get honest with myself.

"So what that you published two books this year?" I say to myself. "How have you loved more deeply or given more of yourself this year than the last?" These are the things that truly matter. And during Christmas I vow to do better next year with these things that truly matter. And I recognize that at times this may mean falling behind on some of my goals in order to move towards greater goals -- the kind that change a person's heart more than a person's status.

As we move into the New Year, many people will make resolutions. For many it will be to lose weight or eat a healthier diet, to get better grades or get a promotion at work. I don't typically make resolutions so much as I set goals for myself. I still have a list of the goals that I set two years ago (some that seemed a bit far-fetched to me!), and it's amazing to see how by writing them down and holding myself accountable, I was able to reach them. These were work-related goals, and I have a whole new list of work-related goals for the new year ahead that I'm still refining. However, I want to set some additional goals this year and be just as intentional about them as I've been about my career goals.

For one, I want to be more generous with my time -- giving it to people above projects. I want to find opportunities to give of myself where I receive nothing in return. I want to act in love even when that love is not returned to me. I want to be someone who gives without counting the cost. In the coming days, I hope to find practical ways to put this into practice and apply it. And I hope by this time next year that I've made some progress.

What are your goals our resolutions for the new year? I'd love to hear them!

Happy New Year!

Break a Leg!

I've been acting for just about as long as I can remember, and for as long as I can remember I have been using the phrase, "Break a Leg," to encourage other actors or having it told to me just before heading on-stage. But it wasn't until recently while reading a folktale book that I learned where the phrase came from, and I have to say that after reading what it means, I think I'll be even more inclined to use it.

The legend says that there was once a man named Genesius who was a mime and performer for the Emperor of Rome. He often used his craft to ridicule and make fun of Christians because it amused the Emperor. He would satirize Christian ceremonies all to the delight of the Emperor. One day Genesius was doing a satirical baptism ceremony. Apparently this was one of the Emperor's favorites, and he was dying of laughter.

"Do it again! Do it again!" he shouted at Genesius. However, in the midst of mocking this ceremony, Genesius saw angels and asked them to baptize him, immediately converting to Christianity. When the Emperor asked him to do the ceremony again for his enjoyment, Genesius refused. He told the Emperor, "I cannot do it again."

This made the Emperor extremely angry and he said, "If you will not do it, I will break your legs."

But Genesius replied, " I cannot do it again because it is no longer true of me. I cannot perform anything which is not true of me."

Hence the expression "Break a Leg" originally meant to perform only that which was true of oneself. I find this absolutely wonderful. As a student of acting and later as a professional, I often had to make tough calls about what I would and would not perform. In the acting field, it's tempting to perform anything because you just want to work so badly; however, there are plays that I cannot in good conscience perform because I feel I would have to go against who I am in order to do them. And I know that my integrity is more important to me than my career.

Sadly, today there are many performers who believe that onstage they can be one person and offstage they can be another. (And I'm not talking about getting into character, but rather, a person's true character.) But this just isn't the case. As one quote so famously puts it, "Wherever I go, there I am."

I wish more young performers were told the story of Genesius. Maybe it would serve to challenge them to think about their own values and whether or not playing a role is worth comprising their beliefs. In the end, Genesius stayed faithful to his beliefs. He was beheaded and died a martyr. He is now considered the patron saint of actors, performers, dancers, comedians and musicians.

So, break a leg, my friends. Or as Shakespeare put it: "To thine ownself be true."

Lessons from 2010: Yes, we've gone to the dogs!

As this year begins to draw to a close, I'd like to reflect on some of the lessons that I've been learning. In no particular order, here are a couple.

Lesson 1: Never go into a pet rescue center unless you plan on bringing a pet home.
Lesson 2: Never under-estimate the power of feelings, even ones you don't know you have.
Lesson 3: Dogs can be even better than humans at teaching some lessons.

These lessons became clear to me the days leading up to Christmas. My mom had dropped off some photo cards to have printed at a local Walgreens, and she had about 20 minutes to kill while they were printed. Right next door to this Walgreens was a newly-built pet rescue center. It was quite an attractive building so I suggested that we go inside and have a look around. WARNING!! You know where this is going!

We walked around the center taking a look at the different animals that were available for adoption. There were some cute puppies up near the front but another dog, about 8 mos. old, caught my eye. I was let into the room where he was being kept and he had a very sweet disposition. Later my mom and I left the center and picked up the cards, but in the following days, I couldn't stop thinking about this dog. I kept seeing his face! AHHH! What was I to do??

Finally, I convinced my husband that we should go back just to look at him. We would not leave with the dog, but he could look at him, see if he liked him, and if he did, we could talk about adopting him and if having a dog would be a good idea for us. We got to the rescue center and the dog was no longer in the same room, I inquired about him only to be told that he had already been adopted. All of a sudden, I don't know what came over me, but I started to cry. I was crying over this dog when I wasn't really even sure that I had wanted to adopt him in the first place!

My husband felt terrible! "Why didn't you tell me this was so important to you?" he asked. "We could have come sooner to get him."

"It wasn't that important," I said. "I don't even know why I'm reacting this way!" And yet, I couldn't stop crying. Here I was crying over a dog I wasn't even sure I really wanted!!

To make a long story short, we ended up returning to the rescue center later that night with my parents (my mom had told my dad about the puppies and my dad, who is a dog lover, wanted to see them.) While there we saw another dog, and the next day we ended up bringing him home.

All of this happened so fast, and now we are the proud owners of Blitzen -- who they tell us is a shepherd/collie mix, but I think they aren't really sure. He is a very sweet dog -- very gentle and yet also very playful. My family has determined that he looks like a deer or a kangaroo more than a dog - and it's true, he does have an interesting look to him.
Estith and Blitzen

I am quite sure that he is going to teach me some more lessons which I'll gladly share with you here. My family has always been dog people. At one time we had four dogs, ranging from a little Bichon (who is now 13 years old) to a huge Irish Wolfhound, the gentlest of giants, roaming about our house. One of the lessons that my dog Belle (a Weimeraner and the best running partner you could ask for) taught me was that there was nothing so important that her sitting right in the middle of it couldn't fix. She had a way of sitting down on top of my homework papers or getting in the middle of whatever I was doing and giving me an imploring look that said, "Come on. It's not going to kill you to pet me for five minutes, now is it?"

I was always grateful for her reminders that the world wasn't going to stop if I didn't get everything done on my to-do list. As a person prone to driving myself very hard and needing to accomplish one task after another, I still need that reminder. Blitzen, I hope you are up to the task.

Blitzen with his squeaky polar bear toy

Book Review by Barbara Campbell - Lily and the City of Light

Recently Barbara Campbell of the TOS Homeschool Crew and her kids were kind enough to sit down and read my book, "Lily and the City of Light."

Below are her comments:

I read this book with my kids and we all enjoyed the story and discussed it a little afterward. The story is wide open to interpretation depending upon your viewpoints. Being Christian, both my kids immediately saw the City of Light as heaven and proceeded to interpret the rest of the story as a Christian allegory. They were very proud of themselves for figuring that out.

I really liked the fact that the storyline is one that is a good discussion starter. If you are not a Christian, the story can also be used to start discussions based on your family’s own views and beliefs. In itself, it is also a good story to just read and enjoy on its own merit. Homeschoolers could also take this story and incorporate it into a lapbook, writing assignment, Bible lesson, unit study, and whatever else you can dream up for your kids. The illustrations are wonderfully done so that younger kids can enjoy the story without losing interest.

If you are looking for a good children’s book, I suggest you check out Lily and the City of Light.

To read more of Barbara's reviews, visit her blog at: http://aliveinspirit.com/wordpress/

Winter Scenes from Ohio

They say a picture is worth a thousand words. . . so today, I want to share some beautiful photos taken by my good friend, Jeff, here in northeast Ohio. The one below was taken at Hale Farm and Village.

The next few of birds were taken in our beautiful parks. I love seeing birds in winter. They remind me that God provides. If a creature as tiny and delicate as a bird can survive the harsh winter, then I can survive the difficult seasons of my life.

My Christmas Book Is Now Available!

I'm happy to announce that my latest book, 'Twas the Year Christ Left Christmas, is now available in both print and e-book from Guardian Angel Publishing. I expect that it will be available from Amazon and Barnes & Noble shortly.

I wrote this book two years ago during the Christmas season. It all came about one day when I just couldn't take any more of the commercialization of the holiday. On top of that, some friends of mine in New York had told me that saying "Merry Christmas" was actually prohibited at many schools and retailers. I felt inspired to write something about this sad state of affairs. I sat down in my parent's kitchen one afternoon and within a few hours I had come up with my own version of 'Twas the Night Before Christmas -- only in this version, Christ is asked to leave Christmas so that people can celebrate without him.

I am very pleased with the fine illustrations done once again by Alex Morris. He is a talented illustrator who has brought the story to life with his images and captured the message through many unique little touches. Neither Alex nor I have ever even had a conversation about either of the books he has illustrated, so it's always been interesting when I receive the first galleys to go over. I open them up with a mixture of excitement and trepidation, but the trepidation always wanes as soon as I see the brilliance of his work!

I must say, I am still frustrated with the commercialization of this holiday. I walk into Best Buy and see the words "Give Joy" plastered across the door. Come on, does anyone really think that you can find joy in Best Buy? I think this is a good example of how we have lost the meaning of many words in our own language because of our careless use of them. I see a commercial for DSW in which one shoe shows up at another shoe's door and with some witty verbiage criticizes the gift that shoe has given her, saying that it actually repels her to think of the other shoe. Okay, I know it's shoes, but it's not really funny. We have even screwed up the whole message behind giving gifts.

At any rate, I see what Christmas has become -- something so far removed from what it purports to celebrate -- and it saddens me. I love the gifts and the celebrations just as much as the next person, but to me there is something much deeper, much more special, astounding and beautiful about Christmas. This is what I celebrate. If you're with me, I think you'll enjoy the new book.
Merry Christmas!

Let It Snow, and Snow, and Snow!!!

Snow is falling like crazy over here! Well, I guess the actual amount of snow falling has lessened, but it has not stopped. And it seems to be sticking and continuing to accumulate. Everything outside of my window is blanketed in white and when the sun hits it, it is almost blinding!

Sunday night I had a show at my Aunt's church in Laura, OH which is about 3.5 hours from home. Probably if it had been any other event they would have canceled it, but I think they figured that since I had come so far to give the program, it would be a shame to do so. So we went ahead with it - and a decent-sized crowd braved the weather to be there! As always I met so many wonderful people. It was after the program that things got interesting. My husband Estith had accompanied me on the trip and he had to work the next day, so we left after the show, getting on the road just before 9:00pm. I drove so that Estith could rest for work the next day.

The driving conditions were terrible with blowing snow and messy uncleared highways. The on/off ramps were the worst. Thankfully, we didn't have to take too many of them.
I drove the whole way, both hands clenched tightly on the wheel, going well below the speed limit and keeping plenty of distance from the vehicles in front of me. I was actually thankful for the semi-trucks on the roads because their lights made it a bit easier to see the road ahead of me.

As I drove I almost never took a hand off of the steering wheel, and I remained completely vigilant. It occurred to me how many times on a regular drive I can reach over and search for a different radio station or CD, grab a snack or a drink from the passenger side chair, talk on my cell phone or do any number of other things, all while driving and feeling perfectly safe. But these driving conditions would not permit such extraneous activity. They required a different type of concentration and attention than I am used to giving. And it occurred to me how often we take the ease with which we can normally do things for granted. If there is one thing that weather teaches us, especially severe weather, it is that we are not in control. Quite often, I need, and am thankful for, that reminder.

I arrived home after 4.5 hours of driving instead of 3.5 with sore arms and a tired head and eyes. But it was so good to be home. So good!

Busy, Busy, Longing for Simplicity

It seems like there is always so much to do. No one told me when I embarked on this adventure of performing and writing how much marketing and promotion would be involved. I guess you're probably thinking that I should have figured as much, but when you are running on the creative brain as I am – practical concerns are often out the window in favor of artistic, expressive ones. Now I find my days ever filled by the demands of answering emails, sending contracts, making contact lists, contracting book reviewers and trying to make sure that I haven't forgotten any other bit of business house-keeping. All the while what I really want to do is create more art. Funny though, I'm discovering that the more I create, the more time I have to spend doing the uncreative stuff that is necessary in order to share that which I have created. This really is quite a dilemma for me. I guess if I could have one thing for Christmas, I'd ask for a business manager – someone who would be as excited about promoting and managing my work as I am about creating it! Santa, do you think you have any of those sitting around at the North Pole?

I find myself so crazy busy right now – my to-do lists are growing increasingly longer and somehow the creative pursuits continue to get pushed further down the list. :(
I am going to have to learn how to balance my time differently. Maybe I need to spend whole days with my email server turned off so I can really devote my full attentions to creating. . . Don't get me wrong -- the promotional part is not all a complete drag, and I have learned to appreciate it more this year, namely because I've learned to see it as an opportunity to meet new people and expand my sphere of friends. And believe me, I have met some absolutely wonderful people through my work who truly do enrich my life.

At any rate, with all of this busy-ness, I've been reminded of a short piece I wrote while living in Spain. It was inspired by my cousin and something he did when he left the big city and returned to his roots – to life in a small town. The simplicity of it is what appeals to me now. In so many ways our lives are so complicated. I recognize the freedom that comes with simplicity, and yet with all I have going, it's hard to get to that place sometimes. I wonder if any of you can relate.


SPIT
© 2005 Lindsay Bonilla

He spit out the window. Yes, that’s what he did. Rolled down the window and spit onto the black pavement as the car pulled away.
He spit on the big-city life – apartments built one on top of another, chemical exhaust clawing at his lungs, and neighbors that he’d never seen or met. Thousands of people running around in a maze with no end, relationships with no connection, lives with no tranquility.

He never belonged there in the first place.
He just got sucked into it – like we all do or will, inevitably.

He preferred the country life – houses in the middle of expanses, clean air, blue skies, and neighbors who had never been strangers.
Stillness, the people who mean something surrounding him, and abundant moments where he could hear himself think.

He’s different that way. Sitting on the front porch steps of his grandparent’s house, stroking the belly of an aged dog, listening to the silence – and remembering who he is.
Not twisting in the maze, drowning in a sea of distractions, obsessing over the noise -- and forgetting the only part of himself that means anything.
Like the rest of the world is so intently trying to do.

He’s always had a strange way of expressing himself -- one that I’ve never fully understood. But I understand what he did when he climbed into that car with his ratty old duffel bag – and I think I respect him more for it.

He spit out the window – yes, that’s what he did.
And then he left it all behind him.

* * *

How do you get to the place of simplicity with all that you have going on? I'd love to know! Maybe you can give me some pointers. Sometimes I stop and look out the window or watch the animals (hence the picture of the deer.) They remind me of a simpler way of life with less striving and busy-ness -- but more about the life lessons that animals have taught me later. Now I await your suggestions. . .

Book Review by Nancy Carty Lepri -- Lily and the City of Light

Author and Reviewer Nancy Carty Lepri took the time to read and review, "Lily and the City of Light," and I would like to share her review with you below.

The people of Htrae, besieged by poverty and hunger as well as greed and dissention, live below a mountainous city where the residents who live there are filled with joy. No one from Htrae knows how to get to the city, and when an old man offers to show the way, no one listens. Instead, they try to find it on their own, but do not succeed.

Ten-year-old Lily lives in Htrae and constantly gazes toward the glittering city, longing to go there. She searches for the old man to show her the way. A charismatic character, he informs her, she can only get there by giving away her heart.

Lily leaves him, dejected. She meets a beggar, realizing she can give her heart to this old woman. After doing so, the woman tries to sell it, but Lily demands it back and heads for home. Then passing the richest man in Htrae, she offers her heart to him, but he is too busy for her, so he gives it to his butler to lock away. After a week, Lily returns to reclaim her heart and gives it to a baby, who only wants to play with it.

Discouraged, Lily forgets about the wondrous city and giving her heart away. Then one day she notices a beautiful boy in the town square. Understanding that love means giving your heart away without seeking anything in return, she offers it to him, but he rejects her, causing her unbearable pain.

Soon she decides she does not want her heart anymore and decides to throw it away. Hearing a soft voice calling her, she pursues it and ends up before a king sitting on a magnificent throne. The king takes her torn and broken heart and offers her his heart in return, which is full of color and love.

Afraid to accept it, the king tells her the heart belongs to him and holds enormous love, thus demonstrating that the hardest part about giving your heart away is learning to feel pain and sorrow.

Finally Lily is in the beautiful city knowing the meaning of knowing love and trust, while the old man remains in Htrae, awaiting requests about how to find entrance to the city of light.

This delightful story, enhanced by whimsical illustrations, shows the sacrifice of giving one’s heart away while learning how to love unconditionally. A fantasy tale, this not only teaches a lesson, but offers a source of wonder and joy."

To learn more about Nancy and her writing career, visit: http://nancycl.webs.com/

Waiting, Watching, Hoping

Sunday morning I had the wonderful opportunity to visit Christ United Methodist Church in Alliance, Ohio, where I gave a performance of my program, “Babushka: A Russian Christmas Tale,” for their combined Sunday school classes. The historic, classical-style sanctuary reminded me so much of the church that I grew up in, with its dark wood pews and railings, stained glass windows, the sound of the organ and the balcony wrapping around the top. The audience, comprised of both the young and young at heart, was great fun to work with – and little did I know that when I randomly chose one adult to be one of the three kings/wise men that I had chosen the pastor of the church! I wouldn't discover this until later when the service began and I saw him in his pastoral robe! One of the other kings, a young boy with lots of spunk, made everyone laugh, myself included, when after being coached to say that they were “three kings from the east” instead confidently proclaimed, “We're three guys from the north.” It really was delightful!

I think one of my favorite parts about my job is all of the people that I get to meet whom I would most likely never meet otherwise. After the show, I met a man who had just returned from a business trip to Russia and an older woman who told me all about the Christmas ornaments that her aunt taught her to make during the frigid South Dakota winters. I love the variety of experiences, the stories, the smiles that are shared with me. I feel like I leave each place I go with a wider circle of friends.

During the worship service, the pastor (aka Balthasar!) shared about the meaning of advent. He talked about it as a time of waiting on God's plans and said that this is precisely why advent is so difficult for the average American, or even the average human living in the 21^st century for that matter. We are not good at waiting for anything. Think about standing in line, or traffic, or a slow internet connection – these little things are sources of frustration, annoyance and impatience. Our culture has done away with the idea of waiting as best as it can in favor of a my way, right away approach. But God has not. God still asks us to wait – to wait on Him and His plans.

The Old Testament reveals that God had promised to send a Savior, the Messiah, and the people of Israel were waiting for him. They had their own ideas of who that Savior would be and how he would come – with power and authority and military might. They weren't expecting a baby born in a manger. That was not their plan. But it was God's plan. And I suppose that's why it took the poor, the weak, and the foreigners of that time to realize who Jesus was while many of the scholarly religious people missed it. In my experience, these are the people in society who find it easier to let go of their own plans in favor of God's -- no matter how different they may be from what they had expected.

Today we wait for that same Savior. We wait to see him at work in the world and in our lives, and we wait for him to return and redeem all of creation. But it is important to remember that His plans are not our plans, and His ways our not our ways. And so we wait, and we watch. We look for signs just as the Wise Men looked for the star, but we recognize that He will probably come in ways that we are least expecting.

I've gotten fairly good at waiting and hoping in my plans (and anyone who knows me knows that I have a lot of them!). I've gotten really good at watching and looking for signs that my plans are coming to pass. But this advent, I pray that I will learn to wait on God's plans, even when I don't understand them and especially when they are different from my own. This is the hope we have in Advent – that God's plans are exceedingly greater than ours.

Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen. (Ephesians 3:20-21)

Happy Advent! Happy Season of Waiting and Hoping!

Book Review by Donna McDine -- Lily and the City of Light

Award-winning children's author, Donna McDine, took the time to read and review "Lily and the City of Light," and I'd like to share her review with you.

Ten-year-old Lily's journey begins at an orphanage within the city limits of Htrae and like many other citizens Lily wonders about the City of Light high up on the hillside. Not to be discouraged by her age or size Lily travels to the outskirts of Htrae to seek out the only man who knows how to get to the City of Light.

The old man willingly shares with Lily his knowledge of the only way to gain entrance to the wonderful city in the distance. And with determination Lily sets out to do what she has been told, to give her heart away. What Lily thought would be an easy task turns into something much more difficult than she ever imagined. Others are not so willing to accept her generous offer and Lily's frustration turns into despair. Will she learn in time that giving and receiving love is a true sacrifice of the heart?

Children's author, Lindsay Bonilla brings to life the awe inspiring story of Lily's quest to find her way out of the darkness and into the City of Light through a heartwarming story which will leave the readers heart open to the joy of love.

Learn more about Donna McDine and her writing career at: http://www.donnamcdine.com
http://donna-mcdine.blogspot.com/

Happy Thanksgiving! Happy Anniversary!

Thanksgiving is almost here -- and with it, the turkey, stuffing, pies and all the rest. I feel like I need to loosen my belt just thinking about it! I find it rather interesting how all of our holidays have come to be synonymous with food -- Christmas cookies, Easter eggs, Valentine's Day chocolates, and of course, the most famous of all, the Thanksgiving turkey. (Although I won't be partaking of said turkey since I'm a vegetarian. Instead, I'll be sticking close to the stuffing!)

And yet despite the emphasis on food, it is my hope and prayer that as these holidays come and go, we won't miss their true meaning. For isn't the good news of Christmas and Easter sweeter than any cookie and more beautiful than any Easter egg? Isn't love richer and more satisfying than any Valentine's Day chocolates? Isn't the idea of giving thanks, of being thankful, something we should make room for just as much as we make room for our generous helpings of food tomorrow?

Our is a culture of abundance and fullness, busyness and constant activity. Oftentimes, it is hard to make space to stop and give thanks. But this is what we must do. This is what I know I must do -- otherwise I will be constantly looking ahead at what I still want to accomplish, that which still eludes me, instead of living gratefully and contentedly in the knowledge of all that I already possess. Ralph Blum said: "There is a calmness to a life lived in Gratitude, a quiet joy." I couldn't agree more.

This year I have so much to give thanks for. I could be here for hours boring you all with my list, but instead I will focus on one thing to share with you. Tomorrow, in addition to the traditional Thanksgiving celebration, I will celebrate four years of marriage to my wonderful husband, Estith. I am grateful for every moment that the good Lord has given me by his side. And no mere words can express the gratitude that I feel at having him as part of my life.

Johannes A. Gaertner said: "To speak gratitude is courteous and pleasant, to enact gratitude is generous and noble, but to live gratitude is to touch Heaven." That's what I want to do -- touch heaven. Happy Thanksgiving!

"Turning Point" Film Review

Kenneth Carpenter, a Cleveland independent film reviewer, has just posted his review of Little Beth Entertainment's latest short film, "Turning Point," in which I play the role of 'Carla.' Mr. Carpenter calls the film "...intense and thought provoking." He also says, "The love interest, Carla, played by Lindsay Bonilla, shows enough emotion to feel her character's pain and helplessness at Max's behavior."

Click the link below to read the entire review.

http://www.examiner.com/indie-movie-in-cleveland/turning-point-review

"Lily and the City of Light" is here!

I'm excited to announce that my first children's book, "Lily and the City of Light" is now available for purchase! You can get your copy at Amazon.com or at Guardian Angel Publishing.

If you pick up a copy, please drop me a line to let me know your thoughts. I would love to hear from readers. This story has meant a lot to me, and I hope it will also mean a lot to all those who read it.

Also, please help me to spread the word about this book by telling your friends and family! Thank You!

Premiere of "Turning Point" -- November 13, 2010

The date has been set! November 13, 2010 at 1pm will be the premiere of the film "Turning Point" in which I play the role of "Carla."The film is written and directed by my friend, Peter Fields, an award-winning independent film-maker with whom I have worked on numerous projects, including another film "Flight to India" which is currently in post-production. "Turning Point" is a family-friendly film, and all are welcome to the premiere which will be held at the Salvation Army Akron Citadel in Akron, Ohio.

Click the link below to visit the "Turning Point" website and to find links to the trailer.
http://www.littlebeth.com/turningpoint.html

"Lily and the City of Light" to be released soon!

It's just about here -- the day I've been waiting for -- when I can finally announce to everyone that my first children's book, "Lily and the City of Light" is available for purchase. Right now the book is available in an e-book format at my publisher's website:
http://www.guardianangelpublishing.com/city-of-light.htm

However, in a few days I expect to be able to announce that it will be available in print form both from my publisher as well as at other retailers.

STAY TUNED for more details coming soon!